Merry X'Mas from the boys

Hi there.

Poppy and MeowMeow wish u all a Merry X'Mas.

Thank you to all your purrs, well wishes and helpful tips on Poppy.

The brown one's still lively as ever and it is nice to see him so. When the vet told me that I won't have Poppy for long since his kidney stones are so big, I thought maybe he won't last till end of the year. But Poppy's still around and things are looking good. I don't think so much these days.

Bad news for the brown one is that he will have to go back to the vet for the usual way of getting his pee for lab tests. Squeeze. Cos I gave up on being the crazy pee stalker. No matter how ingenious the plan is, Poppy's always smarter. Poppy's smart evil.

The boys' X'Mas wish :

Poppy would want to not be bathed at all. Cos he doesn't know how to dry himself. Also, no Dr. Vet would be nice as well.

MeowMeow's X'Mas wish is to have endless supply of cuttlefish strips. I have stopped giving him since junk food is not good anyway. Poor Meowz.

Merry X'Mas and have a good holiday.

Collecting urine is impossible

We got the cage up last 2 weeks.

First week was to get Poppy to acclimatise himself to the cage.

Second week was to lock Poppy inside for several hours so that he could pee into a separate kitty litter.

It was part of the plan of collecting his urine for lab tests so that we could spare the little brown one from his bi-weekly trip to the vet.

Of course, Poppy loathes it.

Who likes to go to the vet every 2 weeks to have his bladder squeezed for urine?

Poppy would kick up a big fuss. I think the vet got scared after the last time.

Putting up the cage was easy.

Lee County Clowder had suggested plastic packing peanuts.

I opted for the smaller ones where you normally use it to fill up bean bags as it sorta 'feel' like kitty sand.

Finding them was not easy.

People make bean bags but don't seem to sell the fillings.

But we finally got a bag.

And what a huge bag it was.

So, last Saturday, when Poppy ambled into his cage for a nap, I surreptitiously latched the door after him.

It didn't take long for Pops to noticed that he was caged in.

Actually, it took him less than 5 seconds.

I swear that fuzz ball has radar built in to detect locked doors.

He loves to sleep in there but the door must be wide open.

Pops gave disapproving squawks while looking at me with black beady eyes.

He sniffed at the kitty litter filled with 'snow' and pawed at it.

I had 'snow' all over my floor after 1 minute.

After that, he just sat there and auwed at me adamantly, gently, pitifully....

I swear if he could howl, he would have.

After a few hours, this pushover mummy decided that it's not gonna work.

Poppy looked too pitiful.

Actually, too smart for his own good.

Even Meowz had to come and look at Pops.

And then they started pawing at each other thru the cage.

I guess it's back to the vet this weekend.

And we just have to get a bean bag and stuff it up.

Sigh.

COT : The bell

Ting-a-ling noises in the living room woke me up last night.
It was past 1am.
I groaned inwardly, realising that the annoying ting-a-ling sounds are coming from a bell that had popped out of this feather-on-a-stick toy I had bought for the kitties.
That bell popped out when Poppy got too excited playing with the feathers and somehow got his claw stuck to the bell.
Poppy had yanked his claw too hard and the bell dropped off the stick and mysteriously vanished into thin air.
That was like a week ago.
Somehow, even when my maid came and did her once a week cleaning, vaccuming, the missing bell still did not resurface.
I didn't think so much about it until last night.
When the noises started in the wee hours of the morning while I was almost boarding the train to slumberland.

TING TING TING A LING....ting ting ting...cling ting ting! ting....tingtingtingtingting!!!
Poppy had somehow retreived the missing bell.
Where had it flew to when it popped out of the feather stick?
How come my maid didn't somehow suck it up during her vaccuming?
How did the brown naughty managed to find it?
Daddymeow thinks Poppy was hiding the bell in his thick fur all along.
If Poppy can hold poo in his fur and drop it off on the floor later, he can jolly well hide a bell in his fur as well to be brought out to play whenever he wants to.
Poppy's fur is full of mysterious surprises.
Or so we thought.

The wretched, grating noises continued in the living room.
I imagined Poppy running around, pawing at the bell as he goes.
He likes that.
Only problem was I was desperately trying to sleep as I needed to wake up by 5.45am to catch a flight.
Poppy was relentless.
Ting-cling-ting ting tingTINGTING!!
I sighed, and tried to block the persistent noises while reassuring myself that after a few minutes, it would all be silent.
Cos Poppy would always end up pawing his noisy playthings under the sofa where it would just stay there till the maid comes over to dig it out for him.
I waited for the imminent silence.
CLINGCLINGCLING!
I waited somemore.
TINGCLINGTING!!!
??? This imminent silence was taking longer than usual.
Poppy Beckham would not let up and somehow, of all the days, seemed to be controlling the bell quite well, avoiding all nooks and crannies that would trap it.
I heard pounding paws on wood floor.
The final straw came when the bell hit the bedroom door rudely.
Poppy must have chased and pawed it all the way to the bedroom door. I heard his paws scrapping on the door's underside, perhaps trying to paw the bell out.
That's when i kicked daddy meow out of the bed to get the wretched bell.
He came in a second later and mumbled something about the boys not being happy about him confiscating the bell.
Party pooper daddy meow.
And that it was not only Poppy, but MeowMeow as well who was chasing the bell.
MeowMeow hardly plays with anything anymore ever since he became an old grumpy cat.
And there he was, playing 'football' with Poppy Beckham in the living room.
No wonder it was so noisy.
I paw, you paw. We paw paw all night long.
Poppy Beckham and Maradona MeowMeow.

I laughed myself to sleep thinking of their disappointed furry faces at the bell being taken away.
Where is the bell today?
Well, it was on the study table inside the bedroom.
Poppy came in and started pawing it on the bedroom floor.
Within less than a minute, the bell was under the table and there is no way of getting it out unless I take a long stick to push it out.
Now, why didn't that happened last night?
Cos life's like that.
But we love the kitties all the same.

Wordless Wednesday on a Monday

I am a furry brown headless slug.

COT : Meme

I have been tagged by KatzTales for a meme. Not good with memes but Ellen and her kitties are super duper nice, so I will do it…

8 random facts about MeowMeow :

1. MeowMeow loves scratches on his left shoulder blade. It gives him cat-gasms – he licks the air and raises his leg to pseudo scratch. Like a doggy.

2. He gets incredibly jealous of Poppy when the brown one sits with mummymeow. He sits with daddy to make mummy jealous.

3. Meow likes to sit like a human. Who's cuter? The bear or the cat with the pinkish, orange vanilla swirl?

4. He loves cuttlefish strips. Seriously worships. Would sell his kitty soul for cuttlefish strips.

5. On good days, he gives mummymeow wet nose kisses. He does! Very wet!

6. He hates Poppy but would still go and rescue when the brown fella gets into a bit of a situation. MeowMeow’s the anti hero.

7. MeowMeow’s tail curves to the right and has a kink because grandpameow had accidentally once slammed the door on his tail. Blinking blistering ouch.

8. He meows back to grandpameow. If grandpa meows 10 times, MeowMeow would reply 10 times with equally loud meows. He doesn’t meow when mummy or daddy meows at him. He just sits and feign aloofness.

8 random facts about Poppy Poo :

1. Poppy has tuffy paws which makes him skid and slide all over the floor.

2. Poppy loves to turn turtle and expose his belly to get attention (ehem, steal attention from MeowMeow) from all that cutesy display.

3. Poppy loves mummy the most, tolerates daddy.

4. Poppy isn’t afraid of people or firecrackers. Poppy isn’t afraid of anything. Poppy just likes to scold people, especially the vet.

5. Poppy thinks cat biscuits are the best. Table scraps, what table scraps???

6. Poppy doesn’t meow, he makes a funny noise that is not spellable. It’s the weirdest cat noise ever that is utterly amusing.

7. After bathing, Poppy looks like a string bean cos he’s all fur, no meat.

8. Poppy rarely hiss. When he does, he scares himself silly.

Phew, that's it. I thought I won't have time to do this but I managed to do it before 12 midnight. Not going to tag anyone. Cos i am bad at tagging people. Ta la.

Good night and have nice kitty dreams.

Wordless Wednesday : I have no head Part 2

Round 2 - Fail big time, white flag

My subsequent attempts after round 1 had ended up with a furious and bewildered Poppy and me with either more pee on my fingers or sand in the jar.

Ok, I did it two more times and then raised the white flag.

Cos Poppy would not go when he sees me crouching in front of him, one hand holding a jar, all poised...he would immediately slink out of his kitty litter with a not so pleased squawk.

I mean, who would go right? If someone just looks at you with big beady eyes while you sit on the toilet.

I thought it wouldn't be right to keep on at it- cos if Poppy won't go when he's supposed to and holds back his pee, then it would not be good for the kidneys.

I am causing more damage than anything else.

So i stopped.

And then got caught up with so much work that I had no time to think about alternatives.

But thank you to all who took the time to offer me other solutions.

I will be trying Lee County Clowder's option next weekend.

Will be going shopping for the necessary stuff.

And it's time to put up the cage.

Poppy's happy i am not chasing him for pee anymore.

For time being.

Found some old photos of the naughty one the other day.

I think it was too bright for him, hence the paw over the eyes.

That was my old pillow. Poppy loved it.

The usual Poppy pose. All day, everyday. Hot belly.

My dad used to call him "Big Claw". I call him 'Yeti' sometimes.





This is the most precious photo. So pitifully adorable looking.

Have a good Sunday!

Round 1 - Fail

I suck at collecting pee big time.

Could hardly even do anything except stalk Poppy.

Each time he slinks to the bathroom, i would tip toe quickly after him just to see him sitting in front of the kitty litter, looking at me with big puzzled gollywog eyes.

The one that says "What's mummy's problem? Why is she skulking after me?"

That happened a few times.

And when Poppy FINALLY went to pee, i rush in but couldn't push the plastic container fast enough underneath him and got pee on my fingers. And cat litter sand in the container with a drop of pee.

Poppy had the most incredulous face.

He proceeded to follow me around then, with torrents of unhappy squawks while i wash the container and my hands.

Scolding mummy.

Sigh.

Now he's just parked himself on the work bench opposite me while i work.

Waiting for round 2.

I need to think out of the box here.

Me and pee

As I would have guessed it - no Katkor sold in Malaysia. Sigh.
I guess we are not progressive enough?
Or maybe that most cats in Malaysia don't have kidney problems, hence, nobody's gonna make any money if they import it in.
Most probably will buy it online and have it shipped here.
That will take a while.
For now, it's me with the plastic container the vet has given me.
Yes, i am the crazy or would be crazy pee stalker.
It's hard. While I am working on my laptop, i also have to train myself to be very aware of Poppy's whereabouts.
If he slinks to the kitty litter, i have to be ready with the plastic container to swoop it below the furry one while he pees.
Somehow, i don't think it's gonna work.
Poppy's such a fussy cat.
He eyes me suspiciously since i am acting a bit weird, lurking in corners when he's nearby the kitty litter.

Funny thing is, it's a cold and rainy day today.
Poppy has not even gone to the kitty litter and i have gone to the bathroom 3 times already.
He knows, the little tyke.

Will let u know if i score.

Pops and the urine tests

Work kept me from updating this month. It’s such a crazy time especially this year and I have been saddled with more work and responsibility than I could handle. It’s always nice to come home to my furry babies who are my ‘spirit lifters’ with their cute faces.

Poppy’s still healthy and playful despite having to now go to the vet once every 2 weeks for urine test so that we can monitor his kidney development closely.

However, it takes a lot to get urine out of Poppy. For a mummy, it’s never easy to see someone press on your kitty’s bladder to force the urine out. Poppy would be screaming, kicking like a donkey, all in protest of being handled in such an undignified manner.

And all I could do is to cajole him softly while the vet tries his best to get the much needed urine out.

Last week, Poppy went to the vet and there was not enough urine to run a full test.

Imagine the frustration for me and also for the fang face.

My vet said this week “Why don’t I give you the jar and if you see Poppy going to the kitty litter, quickly push the jar underneath him to collect the pee…”

I looked at him. Huh?

Poppy’s not an easy cat.

He would never allow me to do so. This is one cat who doesn’t like people coming up towards or behind him, would run away before you can hold or cuddle him.

Poppy would only come to you on his own accord.

So, imagine me trying to sneak up behind him to swoop the jar underneath his furry body to get pee.

Hmmmm…has anyone every done that?

“Poppy squats very low onto the kitty sand” was my other explanation to my vet.

Sigh.

Personally, getting urine from a cat is so stressful.

Poppy hates it – he scolds the vet.

Small tyke likes to scold people.

I am sorry Poppy has to go through this but he’s such a tough cookie.

Whenever I stare at the little fang face, I am impressed by how tough he is.

He has so many stones in both his kidneys and a huge one to boot and by any standards, should be in kitty heaven but he’s still holding on.

And he looks so unaffected. So adorable and so loving still.

But everyday, I wake up with slight trepidation that things will suddenly change.

I have heard of cats going to bed healthy and the next day, almost at verge of death.

Poppy’s always in my mind at work.

The locked door holds so many what ifs.

I am happy when the door to our apartment creaks open to reveal Poppy’s naughty face looking at me when I come home.

Or whenever daddy meow is home earlier than me (which is usually the norm), I would ask how are the boys.

At this moment, Poppy’s last urine reading had been quite positive. No signs of further kidney deterioration. I am happy, for now.

He still chases MeowMeow around and pokes his busy body face into everything.

Here’s MeowMeow looking outside.

And here’s Poppy sticking his face into MeowMeow’s view.

So naughty.

I read that encouraging your kitty to drink more water can help.

Not help by magically making the kidney stones disappear, but help to prevent more stones from forming.

One of the way is to put more bowls of water at various corners at home.

I used to have only one at the kitchen area.

Now I have 4 in my apartment.

One in the kitchen, one nearby their kitty litter, one near where Poppy sleeps and one near the window which both cats like to sit to watch the world go by.

Cats are curious creatures as well as quite lazy and can go without water for a long time.

Put one bowl nearby them and they would be motivated to drink more versus a bowl far away. Especially MeowMeow, the fat lard who would just sit and sleep all day.

Poppy would check out each bowl and drink from each one.

I guess it worked – he’s been drinking more water lately.

And so has MeowMeow.

The only thing is that I have to wash and refill 4 bowls everyday.

I guess that’s about the most exercise I get these days anyway, so no complains.

Do so too if you wish, it's good for your cats to drink more.

musings

after poppy's being diagnosed with CRF, i had spent days crying.
and then i had to go to work the next day with swollen, heavy eyes.
then as days went by and i got more information about CRF, the tears reduced a little.
i am back to a semblance of my usual self, but also, it's mostly work that dilutes my sadness.

basically, as helen writes in her CRF website, nothing about your cat has changed after the vet's visit - all that's changed is your perception.
it's true - poppy's still the same cat, bumbling and lovable.
what's changed is the owner - me.
it's how i look at poppy now. and even meowmeow.
every little pat, every little belly rub now seems more significant and i treasure every wet nose kiss, every head butt and every belly exposing episodes.
but it is also the every little bits that i treasure bring a little sharp stab of pain stemming from the acute awareness that one day it might all be taken away from me.
someone said that it's going to happen one day anyway, unless, well, if i get banged by a car tomorrow and i go first.
but it's still something i don't have the strength to accept.
the 'what if it happens tomorrow?" is always etched in my consciousness.

i used to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and steal downstairs in my dad's house to cuddle up on the couch with meowmeow.
i always knew that he won't be with me forever and i wanted to spend as much of my time with my furry one.
when we moved into our apartment, daddy meow used to have to go to the living room to 'collect' me from the couch where he would find either meowmeow or poppy sleeping on my belly or nestled cosily on my side.

when i first scooped meowmeow from the streets, he was this filthy, mite infested kitty.
when i dropped him off the pet shop for grooming, the groomer carried him to the room but stopped short to turn around and motion "say goodbye to mummy" using meowmeow's right paw to signal the bye bye sign to me.
that's when it hit me : i am a mummy.
now i feel and understand why mums are always worried about their children.
fur or no fur.
it's that basic instinct that guides us to protect, nourish and love unconditionally.
i became mummy meow that day.

i remember when i drove away from my regular vet's clinic last week, feeling all depressed because he did not display the traits of a caring vet, I turned to poppy who was on the passenger seat in his cage and said softly "don't worry pops, mummy won't give up on you".
and i won't.

in sadness comes displays of kind human gestures.
thank you to all who had dropped a message with kind words of encouragement.
i am sorry if ever my journal made anyone sad or depressed.
cos the past few entries were written at the lowest hour, when i felt the most broken.

but it's getting better now.
sometimes i wonder if not knowing is better or knowing and coping with the knowledge is better.
i guess when you know, you are able to take precaution.
but you always feel like there is a time bomb somewhere, waiting to explode.
a fact that i cannot circumvent. it gnaws into my head and festers itself like a dark cloud over me.

still.

i think it's always better knowing despite the sadness.

My decision

After seeing quite a number of vets, I finally settled on the one nearest to my house.

The decision is not to operate.
The odds of failure are too high.
Vets who I have spoken with says it's too big of a risk.
One even said if it's bladder stones, it's no problemo - but not kidney stones.

I decided to re-visit the usual vet i go to last week which led to the reason why I chose another vet closer to my house.
Apparently this is quite a well known doctor in the veterinary community.
Whose staff had been treating Poppy since baby.
It is one of his vet who told me that I should operate but told me that Poppy may die.
But also told me that if i didn't operate, he only has a few months to live.
And no other information.
Which prompted me to seek many 2nd opinions from other vets.
Last Thursday, I went back to my vet but insisted I speak to the famous dr whose name is plastered on his clinic's signboard.
He looked at Poppy's x-rays.
And then he said in his 30 years, he has never seen a cat with such a kidney condition.
And that he has never treated a cat with kidney stones.
And then looked at me.
The whole consultation went like this : I asked him and he answered me one or two words.
If i didn't ask him, he would just stare at me.
Like as though he was waiting for me to ask.
In fact, whatever questions I asked him was based on my previous knowledge gathered from other vets' opinion and I was asking him on all the possibilities, treatments, diet...etc..
And he answered but offered nothing else.
At one point, I told him "Look, I am not learning anything from you...could you please tell me more?"
And then he just looked at me.
I felt like it was such a waste of time.
I am a normal person. I don't know vet stuff. But here I am, asking and talking about BUN and Creatinine and diet food and all he just did was answered one or two words and no further addition to that.
It was as though he was waiting for me to lead him with my questions and that's it.
No further insights, nothing.
It was frustrating. Even annoying to a point.
There could be more things I wouldn't know about and I couldn't lead the consultation by asking them cos I wouldn't know what to ask.
I kept asking him what is the next step.
And that took him a while to tell me.
He didn't even want to look at Poppy's ultrasound.
He just said, Poppy's an abnormal cat - buck tooth, signs of cataract, kidney stones.
And charged me consultation fees for his zero consultation.

It was raining when I left his clinic with Poppy.
Each droplet which fell on me felt so punishing, like needles.
That was the moment I decided, he will no longer be my vet.
I droved to the vet closest to my house and walked in with Poppy.
I was tired, without makeup, teary and wet from the rain. I went up to the vet and asked him "My cat has kidney stones. Are you willing to help me? If yes, I will stick with you".
He said yes. And he was willing to listen and give advice.
And that was it.
That's how I made my decision on who I want to help me with Poppy.

I believe now that the majority opinion is to avoid operation, I don't need a vet with 30 years of experience but none so in treating feline kidney stones.
Cos we now have accepted the fact that it will be a diet management.
To inhibit the growth of the stones to ensure that Poppy live as long as he can comfortably.
To do so, from what I have learned, it will be regular trips to the vet for bloodwork, urine tests, etc to monitor his kidneys.
And at later stage (which I pray won't come), I might need to bring Poppy weekly to the vet for treatments.
I have learned this from reading Tanya's site.

This has lead to my decision to go to a vet nearest to my house.
It's like 2 minutes away.
I do this to ensure that if ever there is an emergency, I am able to get Poppy to the vet as fast as possible.
But also, choosing a close by vet helps to lessen Poppy's stress on travelling. Cos he will be doing a lot of that.
And I believe, a vet who is more caring will be able to help Poppy more than a 30 year experienced vet who has an ego the size of a..... and has zero experience on feline kidney stones. And zero consultation skills.

Sorry for the vet bashing here but I do have a right to speak my mind.

Poppy's fine but there are signs of changes in personality.
But he still chases MeowMeow around and enjoys a good grooming session.

He is now in good hands.

CRF

3 days and still no news from the vet on Poppy's urine test.

Y told me that god needs Poppy more than me.
That's why he's going to take Poppy away earlier than usual.
Because Chronic Renal Failure (CRF) is more prevalent to older cats.
Poppy's 4 years old only.
I have been searching for answers without even realizing that crucial answers are in front of me.
In the form of my colleague.
She has had a cat who passed away from CRF.
Till the day he died, he was a fat orange cat, very pampered and well loved.
I cried the day she texted me and told me that Ommi passed away and how he looked so peaceful.
I would cry for all animals.
Once I feel stronger, I would talk to her.

But for now, I found a bit of solace in Helen's website on CRF.
http://www.felinecrf.org
It's so informative, it is a wonder why I did not find this site earlier.
Helen lost her two cats, Tanya and Thomas to CRF and has dedicated her time to publish this site that is so informative, it makes your head spin.
And she is not a vet. Just a person who loved and lost 2 cats and wanted to help others by writing about her experience and all the knowledge she has gathered over the years, coping with CRF.
I find the part on Success Stories being the most inspiring.
http://www.felinecrf.org/success_stories.htm
It gave me a sliver of hope that maybe it is not going to be so bad afterall....
Maybe. No one knows.
But knowledge is power and the more I understand about the situation, the more I am able to cope and possibly allow Poppy to live longer, as comfortably as he can.
The most inspiring stories are the ones that the vet would say that there is no hope and there is only a week left but the cat went on and live for 3 - 5 years.
One was diagnosed at the age of 16 but lived till 22.
So, there is hope.
Just because someone says Poppy won't be around for long, I should not just resign to the idea that he's going to go soon.
But of course it doesn't stop me from feeling sad and tearful.

If Poppy's willing to fight, I will too.
God is not going to take him away from this mummy so easily.
Cos I need Poppy more.
Never underestimate the love of a mom for her baby.
The worst thing someone could say to me is that it's ok, I still have MeowMeow.
Both are just as precious.
I mean, you won't say that to a person if she was going to lose one of her human baby right - it's ok, you still have your other child.
Like what Tybalt said, just because my baby has paws and fur, it doesn't make him less important.
I fought tooth and nail to nurse MeowMeow back to health from his car accident.
3 months of visiting him at the vet almost everyday, talking, stroking him to bring his spirit up.
Another 3 -4 months nursing him at home, spoon feeding him wet food everyday and cleaning up after him.
All the while coping with a demanding career and the exhaustion of it all.
If the vet could, he would have chopped off MeowMeow's leg as it was just hanging there, held by a few pieces of muscle.
Vets could sometimes be wrong.
MeowMeow had a successful surgery and beat all odds - he can jump, run, even scratch his itchy neck with his 'broken' leg.

Now, I will fight for Poppy.
I will not give up until the day I need to.

Even if it means I have to wake up earlier to tend to Poppy, or sleep later, by all means.
Even if it means going to the vet almost every week, so be it.
Even if it means I look like shit with my tired face - bring it on.
So god, I won't let u have Poppy without a fight.

For those who want to know more on CRF, please visit Helen's site.
Knowledge is power.

Time

Today's visit to the vet and urine sample did not give good results.
The vet said I won't have Poppy for long.
And that operation is not a good option.
So, what I am gonna do is to go back to my original vet for another consult.
This weekend.
If he says the same thing, i would go to another vet.
If that one says the same thing, then it is god's will to take Poppy away.
The unfair thing is that Poppy's only 4 years old.
All i need to do is then to focus on the positive side and stop feeling sad and miserable.
At least I still have Poppy around and knowing this, would be able to spend more time with the furry one.
I don't think anyone could cheer me up right now, perhaps the best is to feel really sad and then it will pass and one can go on to focus on the more positive side of things like making the best of our remaining time with Poppy.
Like BL says, it's like his damaged car. He feels the pain too seeing it damaged cos it's brand new.
I don't think it's the same but I guess this is the best emphathy i could get from a non pet owner.
No, I am not complaining about BL - so please don't start criticising me, brother.
What he said did make me think a bit- people around me won't understand how i feel, so eventually i have to tough up and dry my tears.
Cos i don't think going to work with red eyes and sad face would inspire them. I have to lead a team of 6 people and look after another 2 later on, so, I guess I can't act sad in front of them.
But some days I wish I could be just me. I have always looked out after people, now it's time to think about myself a bit.
Once all my presentations are over in Nov, I will take time off to be with Poppy.
That's my time off.

Perhaps there's still some hope left.
When u love something so much, u want to believe that there is still some hope left despite the bleak results.
I don't have children at present, so all my love is channeled to my cats. I don't have anything else to distract me from my sadness.
Knowing that i am going to eventually lose one of them at such early age is a pain that I cannot bear.
A thought crossed my mind today - thank god I bought Poppy from the pet shop.
Cos i believe he is better off with me than another owner.
Even though the sadness I feel now is unbearable, I will never regret the fact I bought Poppy and he's part of my life.
And that i get to love him and give him as much as i could before he goes.

There is still some time left.
Poppy's fiesty, so perhaps there is more than a few months.
I hope for at least a year.

For cat lovers, my simple advice is : do x-rays once a year, blood and urine test at least every 2 months. Kidney failure is always detected very last minute, when the cat is in a bad stage already, hence that is why so many vets don't have the experience of operating on kidneys because there is no chance.

A bit of hope

Being away for work is the hardest.

3 days away from my cats seemed like eternity.
Especially when i constantly worry about Poppy and if daddy meow would remember to give the cats fresh water and scoop the litter tray every day.
Am glad to be home now.
Poppy's doing fine.
We've completely changed his diet to Royal Canin Renal as recommended by my vet.
And we've also bought the c/d diet from Royal Canin which specifically claims to be able to dissolve certain stones in the kidneys.
But at this point, we don't know what type of stones Poppy has.
The ultrasound shows that both kidneys have stones.
One kidney has a huge stone but is functioning better than the other kidney which has less stones.
I have learnt so much over the past week.
That feline kidney stones are not as common as one may think.
First thing the vet will ask if it's bladder stones or kidney stones.
I would definitely not hesitate to let Poppy go for operation if it's bladder stones.
But for kidney stones, it's another thing altogether.
The risks are way much higher.
That's why the vet today gave me some hope.
He said it's better to do more tests first instead of saying 'you must do the operation or the cat will die'.
Poppy's so far had 2 x-rays and an ultrasound.
Next test would be to get urine and blood samples to determine the type of stones in order to ascertain if operation is needed or not.
The most the vet can say is that if the kitty is still running, jumping and eating normally, don't do the operation yet.
It is always more advisable to get more tests running and learn about the type of stones before doing opting for surgery.
What made my heart sank a bit today though, was that the vet said the failure rate of operating on kidneys are high.
Operation may go well but the cat may not be able to cope post operation due to infection, leakage, kidney failure, etc.
But what brought my hope up was that the vet did say it may be possible for Poppy to live a normal life with the stones, and that we control it via diet. And maybe some minor ones may eventually dissolve in time to come.
Who knows?
Nobody does.
But at least it is a small ray of light shinning through my dark clouds today.
For me, i love my cats too much and i am not good at dealing with grief.
When MeowMeow was knocked by a car and went missing for one week, i remembered i cried every day till the day he came back.

Anyway, there is still hope.
At least Poppy's still himself. Naughty and so unsuspecting.

I have KC and ML to thank for posting my story up on Cat's Blogosphere that gave me quite a few good comments which i have taken note of.

And i am very grateful for all the comments - the purrs, advice, experiences that cat lovers have left here. It helped me form my questions to the vet. Thank you so much, it meant a lot to me.

And of course, Sharlene and Ellen who gave me really great vet contacts which i have visited and will be visiting soon. Thank you so much.

At times like this, it is always nice to know that there are so many animal lovers out there who are willing to help by offering a piece of advice and a purr.

I will have to make my decision soon. One more vet to see.

Here's Poppy eating his c/d wet diet. MeowMeow gets to eat too.


And here's Poppy being spoon fed his c/d diet.I reheated his food one day and when he refused to eat it, i spooned some and blew on it to cool it down and then fed it to Poppy. After that, the naughty refuses to eat from the bowl, preferring to be spoon fed. Cats are smart.

Precious Poppy

Poppy had an ultrasound today so that we can look at the stones in his kidneys to determine the next course of action.
They have to shave off his belly fur to do the ultrasound.
Poppy has no belly fur now.
It's quite weird, seeing his tummy all exposed.
This little bit of whitish, pinkish skin, sorta like a lizard's tummy.
Prognosis was not good.
All i could remember is how emotionless the vet was while he drone on and on about the ramifications of the entire thing.
I could never be a vet. Cos I could never maintain that poker, emotionless face while talking to patients. I cry too easily.
Suddenly, all those months of watching Grey's Anatomy made sense.
Doing an operation doesn't always guarantee success.
It's a 50-50 gamble.
If i let them cut, Poppy may die from the complications during or post surgery.
He may die this month if I let the vet do it.
If I don't let them cut, Poppy will eventually also die. But that may be a year or more.
My main aim is to keep him with me as long as I can.
That's the hardest part now - to operate and let him struggle to survive or not to operate and let him live happily till the day he goes.

I don't feel like going into the details in this journal.
Not today anyway.
Not for a while.

I never would have thought my cockeyed optimist, happy go lucky, bumbling court jester would have such a serious problem.
Cos he looks so unaffected, so lively still, despite a shaved belly.
I don't know what to do as I still need to see a few more vets.

What am i waiting for?
Perhaps for someone to tell me that it's possible to get rid of kidney stones without cutting up Poppy.
Or that there is some form of non-traditional cure like prayers that could magically dissolve the stones in both kidneys.
Or that it is possible to have such huge stones in kidneys but still live a normal life without complications.

I don't know how much time i have left. Who knows?
All i know is, Poppy's still well and I want to spend as much time with him as i can.

Wordless Wednesday : I have no head

Please read Katz Tales and go to Bangsar Village Shopping Centre 1 this Saturday...might drop by...eh, daddy meow?

Poppy the naughty cat

Some days, I just don't want to blog anymore.

Cos I have so much work to do, it's just not funny at all.

But when I look at all my cats' photos, I see so many stories I want to capture for this journal.
So many photos, so little time.

I found baby Poppy photos.
So cute, yet so weird at the same time.
We always say, Pops never really looked that cute.
In fact, when I got him, daddy meow asked me "What do u see in him anwyay? Big eyes, big paws, dumbo ears..."
Dunno. I see a cat with an interesting marble coat.
And big yeti-like paws which still amuses me to no end today.

Back to baby photos.Poppy was quite weird looking then.
With even HUGER gollywog eyes than now.
Look at those 'hypnotic' eyes.
Took him a while to 'even' out his proportions and look somewhat more normal.
But then, as his eyes shrank a little, his fang started to grow.
Out.
Poppy can kill with his fang. Ok, maybe not.
He can poke a fishball with his fang.
Do they have cat braces?

Even if there is, I wouldn't have wanted it to be corrected. As long as Pops can eat somewhat ok with his tooth like that, it's ok.
I think it gives Pops a bit more character.
My little fang face.

I sometimes get wet nose kisses from MeowMeow the orange cat, but I would get a fang poked into my nose if Pops were to give me a wet nose kiss.
Still looks quite cute at certain angles....

Poppy's really a handful. He's noisy, he's stubborn and he doesn't like to be cuddled.
But he sure loves to hang out with me. And sleep on my belly or between my legs on his own accord. One time, I fell asleep on the recliner, just to wake up later to find a furball nestled on my belly, sleeping contentedly. Poppy had floated onto my belly while i was asleep. He is that light.
Poppy never really grew. He's actually quite a small cat.

A mainecoon persian who is terribly small.

Above all, Poppy's terribly naughty.
So naughty that I call him Poppy-is-naughty. That's his whole name.

But i won't sell him ever. I know i gripe a lot about how naughty he is, but no sell.
Even if someone offers a heck of an amount.
Cos i don't think anyone would be able to stand Poppy. He's a cat who is unlike a cat.
He doesn't cover up his scent after peeing or pooing.
In fact, MeowMeow has to go into the cat litter box to do that for Poppy.
Poppy only knows how to dig into the sand for fun, like how a dog would dig furiously into sand to bury or find a bone.
Sand flying. Everywhere. Mummy has to sweep up.
And then there is the poo he leaves on the floor every so now and then.
Poo for the unamused daddy meow to pick up.
Poo gets stuck to his butt and then drops off.
On the living room floor.
Nice.

And the water bowl thing that tripped me one fine day.
Neverending bouts of diarrhea when he was a kitten.

I bought Pops as a companion for MeowMeow but i think he amuses me more than he amuses my orange cat.
Cos he's such a bumbling court jester.
If u feel down, come and be with Poppy. The fang face will brighten up your day with his head butts, funny looking face and protruding fang.

We brought Poppy to the vet again for his 2nd scan and it shows that he has kidney stones.
I guess eventually we have to operate him.
Poor Pops.
I don't want to cut my kitty open but i guess if this is the only choice, we will have to.
So that Poppy can continue to hang out with me while I work.

Or sleep on my ironing board which is off limits to anything with fur and legs.
But to Pops, being naughty is fun.
Cos he gets mummy's attention.

I just hope that Poppy doesn't change into a subdued cat after the operation.
Cos I want to keep my bumbling, people friendly, ready to play court jester as he is forever.

Cats on Tuesday : Doppy and her black dots

It's Doppy time!

Doppy's my in-laws' cat.
Doppy's a girl cat i named to rhyme with Poppy and Bobby the terrier dog (also my in-laws)
But of course, my mom in law doesn't call her Doppy.
I mean, which sane person would call her cat Doppy?
Only a nutcase like me would (big grin), just for the sake of rhyming.
I have nothing better to do.

Interestingly enough, my in-laws always have pet dogs.
Ever since i came into their lives, they now own a cat for the first time.
Mummy meow spreads her cat love everywhere!
Doppy was a stray, abandoned by her mom cat at a very young age.
She mewed pitifully outside the house until my mom in law decided to bring her in.
Into their home, into their hearts.
Of course, for daddy meow, he's always suspicious about how the cat just conveniently appear out of no where.
As usual, he suspects that i planted it outside the house, knowing very well animal lovers like his parents would eventually adopt the cat.

Daddy meow, i tell you, Doppy fell from the sky. Courtesy of the buddha goddess.
Just like how MeowMeow fell from the sky into my garden.
I did not plant her in front of your parents' house ok.
(chesire cat grin)

ANYWAY, here's an interesting fact to share about Doppy.
Something that makes her quite unique.

Well, to illustrate, first we have to compare with MeowMeow's paw.
That's MeowMeow's foot.
Nice foot with pinkish pads (tapak kaki) that has no fur.
All cats have that, right?

Now, this is Doppy's paw.Notice the black spot instead of pink on one her paw's pads.

Now, we count for each itsy bitsy paw :

First leg : ONE black dot! Satu! Un! Ein!


Second leg : TWO black dots! Dua! Deux! Zwei!


Third leg : THREE black dots! Tiga! Trois! Drei!


And fourth leg : FOUR black spots! Empat! Quatre! Vier!

Interesting, isn't it? I don't know if other cats have this but Poppy and MeowMeow don't, for sure. Then again, I don't flip every cat i see and start checking their paws.....who does that?

1, 2, 3, 4.

And that's your Sesame Street numbers for today!

Say hello to the marshmallow mosh pit of white pristine chest.