Bangkok and all of it's glory

I kinda forgot already where i went in Bangkok....
Hmmm...
This is why i should always write things down immediately, not wait till later...
Old already.

Bangkok is ......ok la.

Not as I had expected it.

I expected more - but it was kinda...like that only ah?

That is in context of shopping.

No, i didn't go to any touristy sightseeing temples or whatnot.

With Sarah Chin, it's shopping places.

Which explains why I didn't visit Eiffel Towel when i was in Paris.

Cos i was too busy in department stores.

Yes, i am uncultured. I don't care for this kinda things.

HAHAHA.

I summed up Bangkok to a few points.

Point #1

Thai people really LOVE their king.

U see the king's face everywhere.

On buildings, billboards.

Blind also can see.
So happened that it's his 80th year of rulership and everywhere u go, u will see his face. Quite a handsome fella also. If u draw nonsense on his poster, like give him a moustache or mole or worse, draw obscenities like kotek and vagina on it, u can be hung to death.

They love their king.

Respect their king.

Daddy meow : "Since u are such a princess and u love Thai food so much, that must be your long lost father la"

Me : "Ya lor....i am the missing daughter...no wonder i feel so at home with Thai food"

In Malaysia, it's like - how does our king look like? Seriously, i don't remember his face. But i can remember the Thai King's face anytime now.

Point #2
Som tam (papaya salad) and thab tim krop (red ruby) is much nicer in Malaysia.

Horrors.

These are my favourites.

And they suck in Bangkok.

The red ruby is not crunchy, it's like powdery.

Miss Naughty very sad.

Point #3

Market street food does not look as appetising as those in magazines.

Photography trick habis.
They show u sticks and sticks of meat balls, prawn balls, fish balls, balls everywhere, looking tantalising and savoury...

The actual thing looks yucky.

Those sold in pasar malam here looks more appetising.

Point #4

Be prepared to say goodbye to most of your money to taxi and tuk tuk drivers.

Lesson of the day - if u get in and tell them where u want to go, they will use the meter.

Which is cheaper.

If u get in and tell them where u want to go AND ASK HOW MUCH - that's where they automatically will tell u an obscene amount of money and won't use the meter.

So, NEVER ASK HOW MUCH.

GET IN, SHUT THE DOOR, TELL THEM WHERE U WANNA GO AND SHUT UP.

However, after midnight, most taxis don't want to use meter.

Petrol is RM3.20/litre there...it's expensive for them...so they charge a lot.

If use meter, tip.

If they say 300 baht upfront, then don't need to tip. It's all in there.

Point #5

Tuk-tuks are fast and scary. And not necessarily cheaper than taxi, which has air con.

Point #6

All u ever drink there is coconut.
Coconuts everywhere.

Till i became sugar high from all the coconut.

My new nickname is Coco-Nutty.

Just imagine Nutty with a coconut on his head, not a candy apple.

Point #7
It is known as the land of rip off. The first rip off is in the airport. Never get airport taxi, thinking it's convenient and the right thing to do. It costs 1,300 bahts (RM130) to get to our hotel. It only costed us 325 bahts from hotel to airport with regular cab.

Point #8

There is hardly any tong sampah around. The Thais spent so much on making collosal malls like Centraworld (biggest mall in Southeast Asia) but they don't spend on basic necessities like tong sampah.

So, after all that coconut, where to throw? Daddy meow was walking with coconut, trying to find a bin but no bins. Until he walked into Gaysorn mall, he realised he was walking into a posh mall like Starhill.

Daddy meow : "Oh shit, i am walking in Starhill with a coconut"

Me : "They just scanned my bag....did they scan your coconut?? HAHAHAH!!"

Daddy meow : "No la..."

Me : "But what if u are a maniac with a bomb in the coconut? They not smart leh...scan bags only"

Makes sense, what i said right??? Anyway, seeing him holding that coconut, walking past posh boutiques like Gucci, Givenchy, Aigner, Chanel, just made me laugh so hard, i couldn't breathe for a few seconds. And the laughing fit went on forever. Daddy meow was no amused.

So, dustbins are sacred. If u find one, it's your lucky day. So, think twice before u buy something from the street. This photo of tong sampah i took when at Bangkok airport. Cos it was there....a dustbin!!!

Point #9

Don't go to tiger shows cos they cheat u kau kau. No, we didn't go cos daddy meow says it's not sexy. Cos the girls look ugly. Kotek also cannot get hard. Most of them are ugly. The pretty ones are not pure women. In Patong, we passed by rows and rows of these seedy bars, where from the front entrance, u will see lotsa these girls dancing on the long catwalk like podiums, dressed in bikini. And guys outside will entice u to go in by shoving laminated paper in your face that says :

Pussy smoke ping pong

Pussy smoke cigarrettes

Pussy smoke razor

And whole lot of others that i can't remember...

What fun is it to see a girl stuff ping pong into her pussy? A few of them keep shoving that paper in MY face, not daddy meow's. I want to see kotek, not pussy!

Point #10

Chatucak market is too hyped up. It's not THAT great.

It is a place where u get really cheap, sorry looking clothes.

I didn't buy anything there...except for PORK RIBS.

These was the ONLY nice street food i had seen by far.
Pork is good. Of course, Mr. Pork got all excited with char siew ribs. More excited than seeing girls in bikini, jiggling away on bar tops.

Don't go to Chatucak market. Seriously. It's lame. Just big but so what? Hot like hell, nothing nice to buy. Seriously, i never go to Petaling Street to buy, why am i going to Chatucak??

So, i hardly bought anything in all the markets i went to. The only markets that are nicer and for girls are : Pratunam market and Suan Lum night bazaar.

But even then, i didn't buy much of anything. Nicer clothes in Malaysia. All that money went to taxi, food and coconuts.

Point #11

Jim Thompson.

My favourite.

I only go to Bangkok for Jim Thompson, really.

But taxi and tuk tuk drivers for some reason don't fancy taking u to Jim Thompson shops.
"I bring u to Thai Silk, cheaper"

And they will bluff u by saying Jim Thompson is closed for the holidays.

One taxi driver said i will bring u to Jim Thompson factory outlet and so we said yes. But it wasn't. It was a generic Thai Silk outlet. Bugger.

These people don't understand - branding. It has to be Jim Thompson silk. I don't want any generic Thai silk! Daddy meow knows my habits well enough. It's just like - i don't want cheap perfume when i can buy a Gucci perfume!??

Daddy meow : "Ya lor...take an ugly piece of silk thing and put Jim Thompson brand on it and u will buy..."

By the time we actually got to Jim Thompson's shop, we had to take a picture of it cos it felt like the forces out there DID NOT WANT US TO GO TO JIM THOMPSON'S SHOPS.

Naturally, i looked like i cleared the store with all the bags i bought. I love their fuss free bags which are not that expensive at all.

Consider this, a RM130 - RM240 Jim Thompson bag vs a RM3000- RM10,000 Gucci bag.

Or the other way....Rm130 - RM240 Jim Thompson bag vs a cheap generic bag which could also cost about RM90 - RM150, depending on design.

But i didn't buy the bags all for myself. 3 bags for the 3 girls, 1 for my mom, 1 for my mom-law, 2 for me. I looked like a bag lady.

Daddy meow : "Are u mad? How many bags u wanna buy lar? Do the 3 girls deserve such a gift? Wah lan ne.....?"

We had so many JT plastic bags when we walked out, i told daddy meow :

"Ok, i got what i came to Bangkok for. My mission is done. I am ready to go home!"

Ok, so all my money went to Jim Thompson, taxi, food and coconuts.

Point #12

It's ok to wear really short skirts there. No auntie will frown at u. No one will stare at you either. Which is NICE.

Point #13

A lot of pervy old gwailos with young Thai girl with Sadako hair. Hmmmm...

That's it....that's all i can think of....for now...

Daddy meow : "So, when and where's our next trip???"

Grrrrrrr........