Remember that i love you

It's been 3 months now.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss MeowMeow.

Some days are better, some days are just full of clouds, threatening to pour over smallest of mention the orange one or evoked memories brought on while vacuming random fur on the floor.

Mostly, I have been burying myself with work, keeping myself occupied that way.

Don't have any mood to talk to anyone.

Even family.

It's one of those phase you either get out of it quickly or you don't.

The day MeowMeow was put down, it had not occured to me that my cat was not going to be there anymore.

Until i got home and bathed and sat on the bed.

That's when i started screaming for god to give me back my cat.

I pretty much screamed the same thing over and over that week.

I didn't care who heard me.

I wanted my cat back so much.

I remembered asking daddy meow if it was my fault - that i didn't love him enough.

And would my furry one still remember me when we meet again one day?

Would he still love me?

Could I have saved him if I had reacted faster?

If i had gone to another vet for second opinion on that fateful day?

Why didn't i hold him one last time?

Why didn't I brush him more?

Those questions still mull in my head, like a broken record.

So many whys.

MeowMeow's ashes sit in a porcelain urn inside his cat tower.

I hated the fact that circumstances brought MeowMeow back to the detested vet.

I hated the fact that my chosen vet did not have the right equipment to diagnose my baby.

But most of all, I hated myself.

I had asked god over and over again to let me keep Poppy.

Poppy's still alive and well, way beyond expectations.

Even though daddy meow and you will pooh-ed and pah-ed at the absurdness of this, somehow I felt that because I wanted so badly to keep Poppy, god took MeowMeow away.

Like a trade off.

A very unfair trade off.

The bond I have with MeowMeow is very different from Poppy.

And it is extremely hard to let another furry one come into my heart.

I miss tha tag-u-are-it games with MeowMeow.

He used to chase me around my dad's house.

Sat with me while i eat my dinner.

Cuddled with me while i watch tv.

Those were good moments.

I miss the little fella.

Yes, he is one of a kind. Very hard to replace.

MeowMeow

MeowMeow

2001 - March 27 2009

Lung tumour

A while ago, i saw this scruffy looking orange cat outside our nearby pet shop.

It was orange with a white chest, sorta like a bib that goes all the way down to his belly.

He walked past a few customers outside the shop, stretched in that famous worshipping pose before proceeding to sit in front of the pet shop which i had planned to go into.

I got out of the car, my eyes never left this orange cat.

Walked up to him and meowed.

He meowed back with incredibly intelligent eyes that looked straight into my face.

And i loved him instantly and forever.

I never got to go into the pet store that night.

Cos i already had this orange cat i knew i could not leave behind.

He was mine and mine forever.

Thank you for the lovely 8 years with me.

U are my serendipity.

U didn't chose me, i chosed you.

And i love you from the bottom of my heart.

U are my bestest friend and the one single thing that kept me sane when my parents separated.

U are the reason i worked so hard so that i can give u the best.

U are my angel, my very intelligent baby.

This is the hardest post i have to ever write.

I am so sorry that i failed to notice the signs.

And i am forever sorry that i could not save you.

I never saw this coming and the suddeness had caught me off guard and made my whole world seemed so bleak.

No matter how much i cry and how much i scream at god, he's not going to give you back to me.

It hurts so much.

Somehow, as i lay in bed, my eyes don't seem to want to close.

And memories that flood into my mind are the ones of you when we were still in my dad's house.

That's when you were young and full of vigour.

Please forgive me if i didn't love you enough.

I have done many things and some terrible things just to protect you.

But i guess i didn't protect you well enough.

I would have done anything for you.

And I would give anything in the world just have you back.

I love you too much, if that's possible.

For you are more than a cat to me, you are my baby.

And i love you like how a mother loves her baby.

The one thing i love the most, god took away.

A part of my heart is gone.

Who will cuddle with me, lick my arm and cheer me up when i am down?

I don't think i will be alright for a long time.

But life goes on and i have to be strong for Poppy.

He misses you too.

I love you MeowMeow. U are irreplaceable and I love you forever.

Thank you for holding on so long.

Please remember me always.

We will be together again one day.

Please forgive me.

Cat in moo box

So many pictures so little time. Every time i look at the many photos i have collected over the years of Poppy and MeowMeow and the new ones on Flickr, i feel like writing about the story behind each of those photos but there is just not enough time.

Struggling with workload and my boss' job till july is extremely tough. New organisation, new procedures, new role, new colleagues, new everything. I also blame it on my weak eyes that would no longer want to bear the strain of constantly being in front of the computer, especially at night. Therefore, i have decided to not continue posting on PoppyMeow journal. I have loved every moment of writing nonsensical stuff about the two furry boys and i have enough entries here to last me a lifetime of good memories. And yes, this journal's really actually for me but it also made me happy when people laughed at the stories. I rarely get a lot of comments but it amazes me at times that people from far away places do actually drop by to read and come back.

Poppy's still fine and as adorable as ever. I believe that it is his tough nature that keeps him alive. So I will let this journal stop here so that it's just good memories and not sad ones that might come later. MeowMeow's fat and lazy as usual.

2 furry and loyal babies who will always love me irregardless of my shortcomings.

There are people who i will always be grateful to.
Ellen of Katztales and Sharlene Spice cat mum who are the best in giving me advice and contacts in times of need.
Everycat who offered to send me Katkor and never fails to drop by with a lovely comment. You are an incredibly kind person.
Azra who is just the nicest person - i still remember you.
Lee County Clowder - thank you for your idea.
And to Kaz and Island cats who always offer supportive comments - hope you are well.

And Rachel - thanks for keeping in touch.
To KC of Cat Blogosphere - thank you for putting up my request for advice on Poppy's condition.

I won't be blogging anymore but i will definitely still drop by all your blogs to catch up.
Don't forget me, or rather, Pops and Meow.

Here's one last story which i have been meaning to post up since last year but no time.

I took out 2 boxes eons ago and placed it onto the living room to be thrown. Cos they were old and they were used to store all my illegal dvds which i had also thrown out in 'cleanaholic' spur of the moment. Yes, when i spring clean, i throw everything and later regret it when i need that thing again.

I called them the moo boxes. Cos they resembled cow patches and cows go moo (duh).

It didn't take long before the furry boys swarmed around the moo boxes like sharks circling a prey. Here's Poppy in the box with MeowMeow looking. Eventually both of them ended up pawing each other thru the hole of the box.
Poppy's hairy paw.

Something about boxes and cats. I guess everyone who has a cat can confirm that ALL cats love boxes.

For the fun of it, i put the orange fatty into the box, closed the lid and stuck a cuttlefish strip at the hole.
MeowMeow likes cuttlefish very much. I think sometimes, a bit too much.

Look at the poor face trying to get at the strip but can't.

It's fun to watch cats in boxes but more fun to see how they try to get to their fav tid bit while in a box. After much whimpering and pawing and extending his arm like plastic man thru the hole, i finally let him out.

Auw, poor thing. Anything for cuttlefish strips.

He does fit in very snugly into the box. Look at the tail.

Yes, MeowMeow eventually got to eat the cuttlefish strips. The moo boxes are long gone now but they were well 'abused' by the boys before they were thrown out. Who needs expensive cat toys?

This is mummymeow signing off and wishing everyone to always love and cherish their pets.
Do stay in touch and drop me an email if you wish to at sheueyin@gmail.com
I will be glad to hear from you.
Bye for now.

I have no head Part 3

Beheaded.

Random musings

Am staring at the ceiling fan for the umpteenth time.
It doesn’t go clunk clunk clunk like the old fans. It just spins quietly.
I stare at it when I can’t think. Spinning, spinning, feeling it’s centrifugal motion and the blast of cold air around my chilled body.
But yet, I don’t have the sense to envelop myself with a wrap or blanket. I sit here, crunching work numbers, yet at the same time, my mind wanders…..
I am not a disciplined worker. Not like mother. Mother always say, work first, finish it. Then only play. But I want to play all the time. I chew on the tip of my pen. Numbers on my screen seem more confusing today than last year. Look at the fan again.

I have become slothful. Nonplussed about a lot of matters. Has the routine of the job finally caught up with me? Or have I suddenly become naughty? The perennially perfect, responsible me has rebelled? Have I balked at my responsibilities? Am I bored?

No, this can’t be it. I continue to work with renewed fervor………..only to stop short and stare at the fan again. The fan is the core of evil. It sucks my energy, drains my brain.

The tiger sleeps. Not far away, the hirsute lion is also in deep, peaceful slumber. Fur billowing in the afternoon air, stirred by the evil fan. The fan makes every being sleepy. That’s why there is no ceiling fan in offices.

Ocassionally, my sighs and the clicks of my mouse stir the two beasts. They open their eyes enough to peer at me. Once in a while, one would skulk towards me, jumping up to investigate this strange being who is never at this place at this hour. This being usually appears in their midst when the sun sets in the distant horizon and disappears when the sun rises. The tiger occasionally licks this being’s hand and bites it lovingly. It’s distracting but yet brings a smile to my face.

I stare at the fan again. Time to make sense of the numbers.

Happy Chinese New Year.

T-Shirts to raise fund for Yvonne Foong

I have been asked by KatzTales to post this up. I have heard of Yvonne Foong from the local papers and I am impressed and very much at awe of this gutsy girl. She needs help now. Kindly help by buying her T-Shirts or spreading this news.

---------------------------------

Please help Yvonne Foong save her eye by buying one of her T-shirts. Yvonne is one of KatzTales' neighbours.

To explain what's going on, this stolen from the Facebook page:"For a good part of her youth, Yvonne Foong has had to battle Neurofibromatosis(NF), an illness of the nervous system that causes benign tumors to grow in her body. There is currently no known cure for NF.This brave young lady has decided to fight her condition , by obtaining funds using her own resources and effort. The recurrence of tumors in her body has only fortified her resilience . She has turned her condition into her prime motivation to help others like her battle their medical condition.A former recipient of the AYA Dream Malaysia Most Outstanding Youth of the Year Award, Yvonne aspires to be a a Psychologist and therapist providing support to children who face similar conditions to her own.All she asks, is that you buy her self designed T-Shirt for RM 15 (USD4.40) , which she hopes would provide her with the funds to Save Her Eye.To place an order, send your preferred sizes and postal address to mailto:yvonnefmn@gmail.com.

Payment may be made by direct bank transfer."

Please place an order today.

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Sorry am late in posting this up. Did not check my blog for 1 week, just catching up on rest and work.

I will be back soon with a story on Poppy and MeowMeow soon.

Happy New Year and hope all is well.

Merry X'Mas from the boys

Hi there.

Poppy and MeowMeow wish u all a Merry X'Mas.

Thank you to all your purrs, well wishes and helpful tips on Poppy.

The brown one's still lively as ever and it is nice to see him so. When the vet told me that I won't have Poppy for long since his kidney stones are so big, I thought maybe he won't last till end of the year. But Poppy's still around and things are looking good. I don't think so much these days.

Bad news for the brown one is that he will have to go back to the vet for the usual way of getting his pee for lab tests. Squeeze. Cos I gave up on being the crazy pee stalker. No matter how ingenious the plan is, Poppy's always smarter. Poppy's smart evil.

The boys' X'Mas wish :

Poppy would want to not be bathed at all. Cos he doesn't know how to dry himself. Also, no Dr. Vet would be nice as well.

MeowMeow's X'Mas wish is to have endless supply of cuttlefish strips. I have stopped giving him since junk food is not good anyway. Poor Meowz.

Merry X'Mas and have a good holiday.

Collecting urine is impossible

We got the cage up last 2 weeks.

First week was to get Poppy to acclimatise himself to the cage.

Second week was to lock Poppy inside for several hours so that he could pee into a separate kitty litter.

It was part of the plan of collecting his urine for lab tests so that we could spare the little brown one from his bi-weekly trip to the vet.

Of course, Poppy loathes it.

Who likes to go to the vet every 2 weeks to have his bladder squeezed for urine?

Poppy would kick up a big fuss. I think the vet got scared after the last time.

Putting up the cage was easy.

Lee County Clowder had suggested plastic packing peanuts.

I opted for the smaller ones where you normally use it to fill up bean bags as it sorta 'feel' like kitty sand.

Finding them was not easy.

People make bean bags but don't seem to sell the fillings.

But we finally got a bag.

And what a huge bag it was.

So, last Saturday, when Poppy ambled into his cage for a nap, I surreptitiously latched the door after him.

It didn't take long for Pops to noticed that he was caged in.

Actually, it took him less than 5 seconds.

I swear that fuzz ball has radar built in to detect locked doors.

He loves to sleep in there but the door must be wide open.

Pops gave disapproving squawks while looking at me with black beady eyes.

He sniffed at the kitty litter filled with 'snow' and pawed at it.

I had 'snow' all over my floor after 1 minute.

After that, he just sat there and auwed at me adamantly, gently, pitifully....

I swear if he could howl, he would have.

After a few hours, this pushover mummy decided that it's not gonna work.

Poppy looked too pitiful.

Actually, too smart for his own good.

Even Meowz had to come and look at Pops.

And then they started pawing at each other thru the cage.

I guess it's back to the vet this weekend.

And we just have to get a bean bag and stuff it up.

Sigh.

COT : The bell

Ting-a-ling noises in the living room woke me up last night.
It was past 1am.
I groaned inwardly, realising that the annoying ting-a-ling sounds are coming from a bell that had popped out of this feather-on-a-stick toy I had bought for the kitties.
That bell popped out when Poppy got too excited playing with the feathers and somehow got his claw stuck to the bell.
Poppy had yanked his claw too hard and the bell dropped off the stick and mysteriously vanished into thin air.
That was like a week ago.
Somehow, even when my maid came and did her once a week cleaning, vaccuming, the missing bell still did not resurface.
I didn't think so much about it until last night.
When the noises started in the wee hours of the morning while I was almost boarding the train to slumberland.

TING TING TING A LING....ting ting ting...cling ting ting! ting....tingtingtingtingting!!!
Poppy had somehow retreived the missing bell.
Where had it flew to when it popped out of the feather stick?
How come my maid didn't somehow suck it up during her vaccuming?
How did the brown naughty managed to find it?
Daddymeow thinks Poppy was hiding the bell in his thick fur all along.
If Poppy can hold poo in his fur and drop it off on the floor later, he can jolly well hide a bell in his fur as well to be brought out to play whenever he wants to.
Poppy's fur is full of mysterious surprises.
Or so we thought.

The wretched, grating noises continued in the living room.
I imagined Poppy running around, pawing at the bell as he goes.
He likes that.
Only problem was I was desperately trying to sleep as I needed to wake up by 5.45am to catch a flight.
Poppy was relentless.
Ting-cling-ting ting tingTINGTING!!
I sighed, and tried to block the persistent noises while reassuring myself that after a few minutes, it would all be silent.
Cos Poppy would always end up pawing his noisy playthings under the sofa where it would just stay there till the maid comes over to dig it out for him.
I waited for the imminent silence.
CLINGCLINGCLING!
I waited somemore.
TINGCLINGTING!!!
??? This imminent silence was taking longer than usual.
Poppy Beckham would not let up and somehow, of all the days, seemed to be controlling the bell quite well, avoiding all nooks and crannies that would trap it.
I heard pounding paws on wood floor.
The final straw came when the bell hit the bedroom door rudely.
Poppy must have chased and pawed it all the way to the bedroom door. I heard his paws scrapping on the door's underside, perhaps trying to paw the bell out.
That's when i kicked daddy meow out of the bed to get the wretched bell.
He came in a second later and mumbled something about the boys not being happy about him confiscating the bell.
Party pooper daddy meow.
And that it was not only Poppy, but MeowMeow as well who was chasing the bell.
MeowMeow hardly plays with anything anymore ever since he became an old grumpy cat.
And there he was, playing 'football' with Poppy Beckham in the living room.
No wonder it was so noisy.
I paw, you paw. We paw paw all night long.
Poppy Beckham and Maradona MeowMeow.

I laughed myself to sleep thinking of their disappointed furry faces at the bell being taken away.
Where is the bell today?
Well, it was on the study table inside the bedroom.
Poppy came in and started pawing it on the bedroom floor.
Within less than a minute, the bell was under the table and there is no way of getting it out unless I take a long stick to push it out.
Now, why didn't that happened last night?
Cos life's like that.
But we love the kitties all the same.

Wordless Wednesday on a Monday

I am a furry brown headless slug.

COT : Meme

I have been tagged by KatzTales for a meme. Not good with memes but Ellen and her kitties are super duper nice, so I will do it…

8 random facts about MeowMeow :

1. MeowMeow loves scratches on his left shoulder blade. It gives him cat-gasms – he licks the air and raises his leg to pseudo scratch. Like a doggy.

2. He gets incredibly jealous of Poppy when the brown one sits with mummymeow. He sits with daddy to make mummy jealous.

3. Meow likes to sit like a human. Who's cuter? The bear or the cat with the pinkish, orange vanilla swirl?

4. He loves cuttlefish strips. Seriously worships. Would sell his kitty soul for cuttlefish strips.

5. On good days, he gives mummymeow wet nose kisses. He does! Very wet!

6. He hates Poppy but would still go and rescue when the brown fella gets into a bit of a situation. MeowMeow’s the anti hero.

7. MeowMeow’s tail curves to the right and has a kink because grandpameow had accidentally once slammed the door on his tail. Blinking blistering ouch.

8. He meows back to grandpameow. If grandpa meows 10 times, MeowMeow would reply 10 times with equally loud meows. He doesn’t meow when mummy or daddy meows at him. He just sits and feign aloofness.

8 random facts about Poppy Poo :

1. Poppy has tuffy paws which makes him skid and slide all over the floor.

2. Poppy loves to turn turtle and expose his belly to get attention (ehem, steal attention from MeowMeow) from all that cutesy display.

3. Poppy loves mummy the most, tolerates daddy.

4. Poppy isn’t afraid of people or firecrackers. Poppy isn’t afraid of anything. Poppy just likes to scold people, especially the vet.

5. Poppy thinks cat biscuits are the best. Table scraps, what table scraps???

6. Poppy doesn’t meow, he makes a funny noise that is not spellable. It’s the weirdest cat noise ever that is utterly amusing.

7. After bathing, Poppy looks like a string bean cos he’s all fur, no meat.

8. Poppy rarely hiss. When he does, he scares himself silly.

Phew, that's it. I thought I won't have time to do this but I managed to do it before 12 midnight. Not going to tag anyone. Cos i am bad at tagging people. Ta la.

Good night and have nice kitty dreams.

Wordless Wednesday : I have no head Part 2

Round 2 - Fail big time, white flag

My subsequent attempts after round 1 had ended up with a furious and bewildered Poppy and me with either more pee on my fingers or sand in the jar.

Ok, I did it two more times and then raised the white flag.

Cos Poppy would not go when he sees me crouching in front of him, one hand holding a jar, all poised...he would immediately slink out of his kitty litter with a not so pleased squawk.

I mean, who would go right? If someone just looks at you with big beady eyes while you sit on the toilet.

I thought it wouldn't be right to keep on at it- cos if Poppy won't go when he's supposed to and holds back his pee, then it would not be good for the kidneys.

I am causing more damage than anything else.

So i stopped.

And then got caught up with so much work that I had no time to think about alternatives.

But thank you to all who took the time to offer me other solutions.

I will be trying Lee County Clowder's option next weekend.

Will be going shopping for the necessary stuff.

And it's time to put up the cage.

Poppy's happy i am not chasing him for pee anymore.

For time being.

Found some old photos of the naughty one the other day.

I think it was too bright for him, hence the paw over the eyes.

That was my old pillow. Poppy loved it.

The usual Poppy pose. All day, everyday. Hot belly.

My dad used to call him "Big Claw". I call him 'Yeti' sometimes.





This is the most precious photo. So pitifully adorable looking.

Have a good Sunday!

Round 1 - Fail

I suck at collecting pee big time.

Could hardly even do anything except stalk Poppy.

Each time he slinks to the bathroom, i would tip toe quickly after him just to see him sitting in front of the kitty litter, looking at me with big puzzled gollywog eyes.

The one that says "What's mummy's problem? Why is she skulking after me?"

That happened a few times.

And when Poppy FINALLY went to pee, i rush in but couldn't push the plastic container fast enough underneath him and got pee on my fingers. And cat litter sand in the container with a drop of pee.

Poppy had the most incredulous face.

He proceeded to follow me around then, with torrents of unhappy squawks while i wash the container and my hands.

Scolding mummy.

Sigh.

Now he's just parked himself on the work bench opposite me while i work.

Waiting for round 2.

I need to think out of the box here.

Me and pee

As I would have guessed it - no Katkor sold in Malaysia. Sigh.
I guess we are not progressive enough?
Or maybe that most cats in Malaysia don't have kidney problems, hence, nobody's gonna make any money if they import it in.
Most probably will buy it online and have it shipped here.
That will take a while.
For now, it's me with the plastic container the vet has given me.
Yes, i am the crazy or would be crazy pee stalker.
It's hard. While I am working on my laptop, i also have to train myself to be very aware of Poppy's whereabouts.
If he slinks to the kitty litter, i have to be ready with the plastic container to swoop it below the furry one while he pees.
Somehow, i don't think it's gonna work.
Poppy's such a fussy cat.
He eyes me suspiciously since i am acting a bit weird, lurking in corners when he's nearby the kitty litter.

Funny thing is, it's a cold and rainy day today.
Poppy has not even gone to the kitty litter and i have gone to the bathroom 3 times already.
He knows, the little tyke.

Will let u know if i score.