Time

Today's visit to the vet and urine sample did not give good results.
The vet said I won't have Poppy for long.
And that operation is not a good option.
So, what I am gonna do is to go back to my original vet for another consult.
This weekend.
If he says the same thing, i would go to another vet.
If that one says the same thing, then it is god's will to take Poppy away.
The unfair thing is that Poppy's only 4 years old.
All i need to do is then to focus on the positive side and stop feeling sad and miserable.
At least I still have Poppy around and knowing this, would be able to spend more time with the furry one.
I don't think anyone could cheer me up right now, perhaps the best is to feel really sad and then it will pass and one can go on to focus on the more positive side of things like making the best of our remaining time with Poppy.
Like BL says, it's like his damaged car. He feels the pain too seeing it damaged cos it's brand new.
I don't think it's the same but I guess this is the best emphathy i could get from a non pet owner.
No, I am not complaining about BL - so please don't start criticising me, brother.
What he said did make me think a bit- people around me won't understand how i feel, so eventually i have to tough up and dry my tears.
Cos i don't think going to work with red eyes and sad face would inspire them. I have to lead a team of 6 people and look after another 2 later on, so, I guess I can't act sad in front of them.
But some days I wish I could be just me. I have always looked out after people, now it's time to think about myself a bit.
Once all my presentations are over in Nov, I will take time off to be with Poppy.
That's my time off.

Perhaps there's still some hope left.
When u love something so much, u want to believe that there is still some hope left despite the bleak results.
I don't have children at present, so all my love is channeled to my cats. I don't have anything else to distract me from my sadness.
Knowing that i am going to eventually lose one of them at such early age is a pain that I cannot bear.
A thought crossed my mind today - thank god I bought Poppy from the pet shop.
Cos i believe he is better off with me than another owner.
Even though the sadness I feel now is unbearable, I will never regret the fact I bought Poppy and he's part of my life.
And that i get to love him and give him as much as i could before he goes.

There is still some time left.
Poppy's fiesty, so perhaps there is more than a few months.
I hope for at least a year.

For cat lovers, my simple advice is : do x-rays once a year, blood and urine test at least every 2 months. Kidney failure is always detected very last minute, when the cat is in a bad stage already, hence that is why so many vets don't have the experience of operating on kidneys because there is no chance.