Ramblings

It was only a month ago when I was in bed and realised with a jolt that I had forgotten the anniversary of MeowMeow's death. I had been so preoccupied about my new venture that I had completely forgotten all about it. A huge wave of guilt descended upon me and left me whimpering in tears till wee hours of the morning. It feels like I am forgetting my baby - and if so, would he have forgotten me by now as well? Would he still wait at heaven's door for me? Or was I destined to hell for being such a lousy person in general? Moody, grumpy and curt most of the time. Now, forgetful as well.

I read all my old posts one day and realised I am completely unable to write in that sort of humour anymore. Each time I read an old post, i actually cringe at how happy and naive I sounded then, thinking that my pets will be with me for a long long time. Childish and enveloped in my own warm, furry cocoon where happiness comes in the form of a random headbutt or a wet nose kiss.


Poppy is managing well. And little Le Poo still has some growing 'out' to do. Small head, small body but big tummy. Incredibly good at opening our bedroom door and sauntering nonchalantly in and loves eating PU off my single seater, which by now, is the single most embarrassing furniture - makes it look like we are terribly poor, living with tattered chairs.

And an avid feet and toe nibbler as well.

I really like this touching of feet picture.
2 weeks ago, I woke up thinking of my tortoises. My brother and I had many tortoises as pets when we were young and the last bunch we had were somewhat more special. There was Bubu, who was unlike any tortoise I had ever known. He was surprisingly pale green unlike the ubiquitous dark green shade most tortoises have. Lovely face, most adoring, imploring eyes. Bubu loves sleeping on my lap, on my bed and basically would always crawl towards me when we let him out of the aquarium. One of a kind. Just like MeowMeow.

But it didn't exactly have a happy story at the end. We were growing up and my brother was due to leave for uni overseas. I was just about to enter high school. My father told us one day it was best to let the tortoises go in a nearby lake. I don't exactly remember the gist of it but I do remember clearly till today, me cradling bubu in my hands and him looking at me with trusting eyes as my dad drove us to the lake. And the last look on his face as my dad push him into the lake. I think I cried buckets when I got home.

I always think back and wonder how and why my brother and I agreed so easily to let the tortoises go. Why didn't we put up a fight? Was it that we were too young to argue? I texted my brother 2 weeks ago and asked him that question and he said dad was insistent and we had no voice then. I cried after that, saying to daddy meow it was such a terrible thing to do - you don't just throw your family away just like that. Perhaps that's why I never have good karma as I never stopped my dad from doing so. I just stood by him silently.

I miss Bubu and the rest. But I also recently understand that perhaps it was never right to keep animals like that, even fishes and hamsters in an enclosed space. It is not their nature to be captive animals. I spent years thinking how wrong my dad was when just recently, it dawned to me that perhaps he may be right all along with the best intention of setting them free from captivity. His was a bigger picture vs mine. Perhaps it was for the best. But I will never stop missing them.
Love you Bubu and MeowMeow.
One of a kind.
And Happy Father's Day.

Growing up

Buy a cat and you get 2 pairs of shoes for free. Is that a good deal?

I couldn't resist.
She's naughtier than Poppy!
Jumped into my paperbag as soon as I turned my head. She fitted in so nicely I thought what the heck, let's take photos. And she just sat there and camwhored for me.

Little Le Poo is getting bigger. Her head's still small though but she has this squishy, ultra soft boob-like tummy that is just too funny to look at. I mean, it's weird, she's not obese or anything but yet there is this saggy gut which resembles droopy human breasts. It's like she needs a bra or something. Looks very obscene but you can't really tell from photos.

She lives like a queen, acts like one too. Look at that high and mighty pose.Since MeowMeow passed away, I allowed the cats to do pretty much anything they want. Including sitting on the dining table while we eat dinner. Horrors. My mum would faint if she saw how close Le Poo sits to our food. She has no discipline and I guess that's largely thanks to me who just spoils her like there is no tomorrow. Poppy's equally spoilt too, sleeping in the air-conditioned room with us almost everynight, leaving furballs everywhere. I had never allowed all this before. Guess I am sorta making it up by letting the furry ones get away with things MeowMeow was never allowed to do. Sorta makes me feel better in some ways. Imagine if I had kids. They would be spoilt rotten.

Feeding them both while I eat my dinner as well. Multi-tasking!

Unlike Poppy or MeowMeow, little Le Poo has a fetish for feet. She loves coming up to my feet to rub her furry face all over it. It's nice, but only if she knows to keep her mouth shut while she does it. But she doesn't. She rubs her face across my feet while with her mouth open, baring sharp leetle fangs that will draaaag across my skin. Major ouch! By the time she finishes (which is a long time), my feet will be sore and wet with cat drool. Euw. But I tolerate anyway cos I am such a sucker for kitty attention. She like to do this in the wee hours of the morning when I am still asleep. Firstly, she meows loud and long enough for daddy meow to surrender and open the door to let her in. Then she ambles to the bed and to my exposed feet and mashes her face onto it with her mouth open. Every effective wakeup call!

Pops hasn't really taken to her. Still hisses if she comes too close to him. I guess they will never really be great pals, just like how MeowMeow and Poppy had never been tight. Ah well. Poppy sometimes prefers to sleep all by himself in the bedroom even when we are all outside in the living room, just to avoid her. Too naughty and lively, even for him!
xoxox

Poo in my life

It's been 7 months now.

I had long pondered what to do with my blog - shut it down for good or renew writing on it?
Nah...
I don't want to keep going cos i have lost my funny mojo since MeowMeow passed away.
But I don't have the heart to delete this blog into oblivion either.
Cos sometimes I come back to read it and reminisce the good old times.
7 months felt like 10 years.
And somehow today, I felt the compulsion to sweep off the virtual cobwebs on my blog to pen down something.

Poppy's still fine despite certain deterioration in his latest blood test.
I don't send him to the vet anymore for urine samples.
I decided to let him enjoy.
Everyday is a blessing to see him breathing, despite the imminent dark cloud hovering nearby.

I didn't want another cat but somehow, one fell onto my lap.
Her name is Le Poo.
Funny thing is that when MeowMeow passed away, we decided to get a calendar and mark the days Poppy poo-ed.
So that we would be able to track if he has regular bowel movements, just to check for signs of health deterioration due to his kidneys. Previously, we didn't know whose poo it was.
So we had this calendar with a square for each day and we would write 'poo' on each square when we saw poo in the litter box.
It's so amusing that if you write poo too often on a calendar, poo actually comes.

She was a 3 months old kitten waiting for me in the basement of my office carpark in July.
It was already late about 10 something and there were about 4-5 cars in the vicinity.
I heard this mewing sound which got louder as I approached my car.
And this little calico fluff came out from under my car to greet me.
Till today, I can't think of what came to my mind that night.
Perhaps I thought it was weird, for 4 years, no cat has ever got lost in the carpark.
I think it also crossed my mind to quickly scoop the kitty up and get into the car and lock the doors before i inspected her. I was afraid of murderers, rapists lurking in the corner, using an animal to distract innocent victims.
I knew I couldn't leave the kitten there. It was almost an immediate reaction to call daddy meow, telling him I found a lost kitten and I am bringing her home.
To house her there whilst I find a home for her.
I didn't want a cat anymore.
I was afraid of another heartbreak.
See, animals have the innate ability to make u love them so much but then they go off to heaven faster, leaving u all empty and sad.
I always wonder how some friends can have 5 dogs at one go. Wouldn't it be 5 times the heartbreak?
I knew my heart couldn't stand another round.
This is a person who goes to SPCA and ends up in tears when she sees animals in cages, unloved and unwanted, wishing she could bring home all of them.

I went to the pet shop opposite my office (thank god it was open late) and bought the kitty a cushion, kitten food and separate litter box.
Store people were gushing over how lucky this kitty was and all I did was gave them a wry smile.

Back at home, Poppy hissed at this new fluff while I explained to daddy meow that we had to find a home for it soon.
"But she's quite cute..." he said slowly, looking at the fluff.

Cut the long story short, I couldn't find a home for it.
And daddy meow seemed to want her to stay.
He said it is MeowMeow who's come back home.
Even then, in the first month, I didn't really want to accept that this kitten is now ours.
It wasn't MeowMeow to me.
If it was, it would have been an orange male kitten with a white bib on the chest.
This is a she cat, with 3 colours.

But she's now home. With us.

Much later, daddy meow told me something.
He said the night before I brought this kitten home, he had dreamed of MeowMeow.
I didn't know what to think of it.
Coincidence?

This is Le Poo.
U write poo too many times on a calendar, u really get Poo.
I should have wrote $$$ instead.

She also likes to sleep on daddy meow's belly.

And sits like a human too.
Notice the stumpy tail that looks like MeowMeow's.

She's so naughty that I have to take 'naughty' off Poppy's name and give it to her.
She even sleeps like MeowMeow.
Poppy bear never sleeps like this.

Recently I told my brother about Le Poo and how I didn't want to keep her initially.
He said "Why? It took MeowMeow 7 months to apply back home"
My dad said it's fated.
I call her poo-poo.

So now, here I am today, a little bit happier even though I still miss MeowMeow a lot.
No job, no MeowMeow, but I have Poppy and Le Poo, and lotsa catching up time.
Hope 2010 will be better than 2009.
And I love u my orange fella.
Perhaps soon I can take out my Anya bag again.